08 Nov Make mistakes and have high self-esteem
Esteem is about respect and admiration. We may have respect and admiration for others, for great works of architecture or engineering, or fantastic achievements.
But the most important type of respect and admiration is that which we have for ourselves.
How we view ourselves affects all aspects of our lives. At school, at home, with friends.
So how can we consistently have a high self-esteem?
There are many aspects to self-esteem, aspects which we ourselves control. (After all, it is OUR self-esteem!). These will be covered in the next blog and some following ones.
For now let’s focus on making mistakes. When we make mistakes our negative self-talk can take over. We can fall into the trap of generalising (“Oh, I’m always…………”), or increasing the significance of a daft mistake we have just made (“Oh, I am really really bad at………….”). This can start a vicious cycle, which ultimately affects our self-esteem. Just because we did something a bit daft!
Black Belts make mistakes.
It is not about making the mistake, and how many we make. Black Belts know that it is about how we view the mistake.
Life is one long journey. Composed of many many smaller journeys. Along each journey there will be many positives, and a few negatives. We may not complete each journey. A particular journey may not take us to where we want to get to. There will be new challenges, stretching us. We may have to learn new skills, or to just try something a bit different to what we are used to.
So we WILL make mistakes. They are part of the journey, part of life. And we control how we view each mistake, and therefore how we react to it.
Making mistakes is a key way in which we learn. So one positive aspect of making a mistake is that it is an opportunity to learn. To learn something new, to learn that something doesn’t work, to learn that something that used to work doesn’t any longer.
Action point – the next time you make a mistake, listen to your self-talk. If it is negative, think instead of how the mistake could be viewed positively. What can you learn? What would you do differently in a similar situation in the future? What can you do to stop this type of situation arising again? Black Belts view mistakes positively, as part of the journey, which maintains their high self-esteem.